Saturday, January 10, 2009

Under the table

Have you ever wondered that the words “to cheat” and “shit” are almost homophonesFully underlining almost because of a very bad English pronunciation. Aheeeeeem…NO, you don’t think so? Don’t you worry; my imagination does go quite far. Yet even if shit and cheat do not exactly sound the same, can one agree with the reality that to cheat is by far synonymous to SHIT? Aheeeeeem…YES, you do think so? Then very bad diction just paid up.

The act of cheating…When bad turns into worse.

Since our first days in school, we are taught that cheating leads to very punishable consequences. Why is there the need to cheat when your only duty is to give your best and get what you deserve? In other words, all know that credit is given  to the honest soul. As we grow older, and as cheating also takes shape in another perspective such as in relationships, the rules and consequences yet follow the same pattern as in primary school: games, danger, cowardice, shame and in this case, the verdict of a broken heart or two.

Having recently been confronted with a very good question…I really ought to share it with you:What are the limits of fidelity and when does the cheating start?

The best logical answer would surely be the act of cheating in itself. Let us just say that flirting is a good start. Kissing and fooling around are definitely the most plausible answers. But having that on my mind soon got me digging a deeper hole. For instance, if you were with a person who is thinking of someone else while being with you… then would that not be already considered as cheating? The something where you can actually feel the change deep inside but do not really know what to do with it or if you should directly confront it. Thinking too deep or looking too much on the surface? Either way, it does not really make any difference because the answer might just be a crystal clear nod. It may not have been technically cheating on the person (yet), but it surely sounds like cheating on the relationship that you have with this one: the oath taken that is called TRUST. Cheating loose is definitely wrong but keeping out the truth and covering it up is, in my opinion, another form that is worse. I definitely prefer an honest cheater (what an oxymoron!) than a dishonest relationship (How horrible that sounds!). There are things that are meant and must be said (early on), even if it puts the relationship in trouble, and even if there will be a broken heart. The truth sets you free. It is not that the one you are with doesn’t love you or loves another that causes horrible pain; it’s just awful to be playing the lead star in a wrong play, as the reality that you deserve is not granted to you.

A cheater once… a cheater for life?

Another aspect of this subject got me questioning about the whole "cheating, affairs and the other woman/man" world. We all heard this “ If someone can cheat on you once… than he will definitely be doing it again” at least once. I agree with that statement a hundred percent. But instantly, I tried to look at it from a different angle: it is commonly said that anyone of us can commit the darkest sin, "whatever" situations being an irrelevant matter. But isn’t it more proper to say that anyone of us, in the most stupid and childish situation, may actually slide -- even just for a split second -- and be weak? The "losing control"-cases where to expect the unpredictable, the unexpected. Can it be possible to sort cheaters by degree from bad… to less bad, depending on “how it happened”? It might be the worst rationalization that anyone can think of, especially coming from someone who despises and pities cheaters oh-so very much. But cheating does not involve someone far away; it is not someone we heard of or only the infamous players. The thing is: it may not seem a surprise to you from the worst person ever… but we must take in count that it might also be done by the best person you know. It might even be you. And what happens then: Are you now part of that famous quote? And if not, why should this or that person be singled out? Principles shatter down, and you can no longer have a stand to the subject... because it also happened to you. Innit? How reluctant I may feel on the subject, I guess a redeemed cheater does have a say on the matter, on one very simple condition: if he/she is truly immensely top of the world sorry. I know regaining a broken trust is extremely hard, maybe even impossible in some cases. But that is why there is a thing called love.

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