Thursday, November 7, 2013

Elevator music


I cannot write anymore
The music I hear
Is the one they play
In elevators;
The one they believe
That makes slow steps go faster
The one they pretend
Will make a broken heart
More bearable.

I would rather listen to
A voice that has the courage to
Say something that is sincere 
The thing that would validate
Even just one of my tears

That what I have to brave through
Somehow is still worth
Me writing
The end of the book

Because at one point in time
Your eyes met mine
And not acknowledging a goodbye
I cannot help but hum
What a coward way to go out. 


Thursday, October 31, 2013

Tourist in my own life



I am a tourist in my own life
Everything I am feeling
Is foreign land
I cannot quite recognize
This impasse
Is it really I --
I am a tourist in my own life

Should I not know by now
What I am capable of
What song I am supposed
To play
When I am having more
Than two bad days

Who is this person
Staring back at me
Here I am contemplating
And she is not crying
It is not I, it is not I
I am a tourist in my own life

What am I supposed to learn
When the one teaching a lesson
Is the one concerned
I become
Unknown territory to explore
With old wounds and sorrows
And now a new state of postwar
It is I, it is I
That has to reach out
To stop being
A tourist in my own life.







Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Coincidence



Now is
Not the time
Nor the place
To feel
What I buried
Come back
To the surface
Months spent
Coping
And perhaps I am
Avoiding
But what I
Endure
What am I
To do
When I face
The past
In the present
Here I am
Going on
Trying to
Make sense
Of what was
In the  end
Solely
A coincidence.




Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Nothing



From everything to thin air
From somewhere to nowhere
From a reason to a season
From being whole to being broken
It only takes a second
To lose it all 
A fleeting emotion
To crush it all
For someone so important
To become distant and indifferent
For something to be nothing
From being happy to unwilling
An arrow through my heart
But it was only a spear
For you to suddenly disappear
And when time has passed
Living space 
To new days and life
I will look back and wonder,
Did we even exist at all?



Thursday, July 25, 2013

You, coffee and I



At eventide
Sitting on top

Last sun rays
About to cover up

This town is divine
And feelings that drown

Only city lights scintillate
While the darkness inundates

At the end of the day
Another one that was bad
All the way

When all I look forward to
Crawling back to bed 
And solace in my pillow

You ask me out for coffee
But is it not too late 
To be injected
With something that awakes

You twinkle, I am your star
And we sit for a while
Just you, coffee and I. 




Sunday, July 21, 2013

Turning point



Celine had been floating on a little cloud for the last couple of months. She had a new man in her life -- and it was bliss. Everything seemed to fit right where it was supposed to: she had come to a point where she knew precisely who she was, where she was heading and what she desired. So when this striking, pleasant young man entered her life -- of course in the most unexpected, romantic fashion -- she was amazed yet unsurprisingly persuaded that, as the book always professes, it must be happening for a reason. Done with petty things and at peace with the ghosts of her past, she knew that when that kind of wind came blowing in, she would open up again and give it a chance; despite how majestically big the high walls around her heart had become. Moreover, it was palpable, at least to her, that if she were ready to embark into a new romance at last, it would be a more even-tempered, grown-up relationship than she had had before and thankfully, he appeared to agree with that specific criteria: both living very independent lives, she was elated to take things slowly, taking the proper time to get to know each other, and  though they did not spend every waking moment together, as one would usually presume of new lovers, it was remarkably alleviating to be reminded that, every day, she was on his mind and he was on hers. Celine was happy.

But as it always is, everything is smooth-sailing until it crumbles. Because no matter how confident Celine was -- not about him, not about the growing relationship; but about herself and her terms -- ; she did not bargain on the irrefutable possibility -- rather, reality --  that she could be starting to develop deeper feelings. Mind that it is not that she did not expect for that to happen; but she did not anticipate that turmoil to happen so soon -- whatever that means. Obviously, she was conscious that there can only be two alternatives the more time passes: you either bid farewell or you are keen on making more room for a person. Nevertheless, although visibly more inclined for the latter, she appreciated the slow part of it all, she found the turtle steps soothing -- and so did he. Yet like an unforeseen change in the wind, as soon as she realized that she missed him terribly after only days apart, once the epiphany that she was on the verge of also telling him that, she suddenly plunged into a sea of queries that no best friend advice could comfort.  It was clear she got one foot in already; however, she was still, irrevocably on her guard. And it was breaking down. All at once doubting his intentions, immediately desperate to find out what he could be thinking as well -- she began to cross-examine every little detail. Confusion. Unrest. Tumult. The works. All in her head, undoubtedly.  

Even so, she felt in her bones that it was too early to bring out the big guns -- or as it is universally known -- sit the coveted one down and have 'the talk'. Yeah, that talk. Are we casual? Are we serious? Are we exclusive? Are we official? Are you my boyfriend and am I your girlfriend? She herself did not aspire, at all, to go down that road. Indeed, Celine wondered, why go into that serious stuff and not just let things run their course, as she had initially planned, if or when it has to without automatically putting a label on it? On top of that, even if she sensed like she could invest in him more and more as time bound them closer; getting ideas such as making plans for a weekend away, introducing him to family and friends or giving him a gift from her most recent holiday, wasn't it too early at that stage of the relationship? Celine was positive. It was too early to make plans for a weekend away. It was too early to introduce him to family and friends. It was too early to give him a gift that comes from the heart. It was all too early. But she could not erase the thought that, as of that instant, she actually fancied doing all those things -- preferably in the near future. Was she on the right track or was she skipping steps? Was this judgment call way too early? Finally, and more importantly, she started to ponder: when is the right time, if there is one, to tell someone new what you feel? 

Seeking insight, Celine spoke to every possible person who could have an answer to that question and as it turns out, each person on the face of the earth has an opinion. Clearly. And as predicted, this is the type of universal phenomenon that remains, quite frankly, a matter of personal experience. Every couple is completely different, it even differs from culture to culture: some think that passing the three-date phase implies mutual understanding already, some reckon that first sex will suggest couple status and others believe that it is the exchanging of "I love you's" that is the ultimate proof. Demanding exclusivity i.e. having the talk about how serious one is about someone ranges from the first date to... this unlimited time frame. In fairness, then, how can one ever recognize when it is alright to talk about the future in the present?

It is easy to agree that dating has never been as complex as today. There are more definitions -- or rather, non-definitions --  than one can list when it comes to two people 'seeing each other'. The established categories have become unclear: it is not single, in a relationship, married or divorced anymore. Even Facebook has provided the "It's complicated" status just to confirm the difficulty of the matter. People can date more than one person at once, people have sex without being in a relationship, people are in a relationship without having sex, people love each other but are not considered in a relationship, and so one and so forth. Besides, it has even become socially acceptable (common, to say the least) for friends to cross that line from a platonic affair to a physical one. And once asked about his/her dating life, it is not a surprise that "I have absolutely no idea" is the given response. No wonder that falling back to old school practices i.e. explicit categorization is what people need the most in these modern times. Thus, as a consequence, the fear of telling someone that you have fallen for them and you want to take it to the next step has become impossible to handle. Quintessentially, the formula of relationships these days is tricky, ergo, the formula of ideal timing for 'the talk' is trickier. In point of fact, "the game of love is complicated, but love is not complicated" (http://mydailyaphorism.blogspot.ch/) has never been truer.

Evidently, one understands that falling in love -- timeless as ever -- has always come with mind(and heart)-boggling risks. But because of this modern take on relationships, both men and women have the hardest time to explain to someone that they want more out of a relationship... or at the minimum, label their relationship. The fact that the number of commitophobes is extremely high nowadays as well does not help one bit and the last thing one wants to do is scare someone away with the potential implications of those gigantic three little words. The debate is, have people always been afraid of opening their heart anyway or, pragmatically, have people grown more afraid because of the pseudo tendencies of recent times? Having 'the talk' is a debacle, a bomb, a weapon of mass destruction, the most frightening thing that exists. And even if one has been feeling more lovely than s/he cares to admit, saying it genuinely feels like entering a warzone. So one hesitates, one puts it off, one conceals it. Once again, the fact that the right time to have 'the talk' is practically indefinable makes the experience what one admonishes the most.

But truth of the matter is that not a single thing or person defines the couple unless the two parties finally talk about it. Honestly, mentioning serious business the first week in could be a tad bit early, but after two months, like in Celine's case, is it really still too early? The thing is, if one detects that his/heart has cracked open, there is a irrefutable possibility -- rather, reality -- that it will crack open even more; the more time passes, the more time bounds two people closer, one should grasp which direction it is supposed to go. And there is that turning point; that beautiful, horrible point when you start being more like yourself rather than the best version of yourself with someone. The ugly emerges as much as the finest part. The first steps of dating are fun and easygoing, but the real deal is the ride that takes one's breath away. So regardless of how slow you advance in the relationship -- and the slower, the better one must admit --  love gives the feeling of living in the fast lane. Celine had come to a point in her life where she knew precisely who she was, where she was heading and what she desired. And she discovered, after weeks of bliss, that she was willing to take that leap of faith. It destabilized her to the core -- because as Carrie Bradshaw asserts in Sex and the City, "even the most together woman can't keep it together when it comes to love, because just below the surface, we're all raw and exposed." Truth is -- and people do not let themselves to -- it is perfectly alright, no matter the timing, to feel that vulnerable.  In the end, the only question left is whether the other person feels the same way, wants the same thing out of a relationship and ultimately, will put the same label as you do. So it is inevitable to have the talk, it is fixed that two people spending quality time together will eventually discuss the future in the present... because you want to build mountains out of pebbles. And it is better to know now, early on, sooner...  rather than later.


Thursday, July 18, 2013

Upper hand




I  know who I am
What makes me tick
When something is wrong,
Or when  I am roughly overreacting.
When I enter a state of panic
It makes me sick to my stomach
I do not recognize myself
Or  I remember the one staring at me
All too well
Defensive and uncertain
I am mean and swollen
Emotions overrun me 
So here I am 
Running on empty.
At times I am not in control
Without warning 
Or good reason
What is sure
I am on the brink
Of falling into a loophole
And I  just have to sense
When it happens
When I am this woman
Wearing stilettos on sand;
If you are that man
Not psyched but strong enough
To handle the times 
When I am losing the upper hand.


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Every four months



Every four months
Of my life
I am reminded
That  you are not
In my life
A change in the wind
A blinding sky
Coffee that tastes bad
Here I am about to cry
And that every day
I still think of you that way
It burns inside
And I am cold with pride
Because
Only one
Sets my heart 
On ice and fire
I walk alone
And like Amy said,
Tears will dry on their own. 


Thursday, July 11, 2013

Target



Sometimes, you just know which direction you have to go 
even if you do not have the map.


Worry



I worry 
About
You
Just 
A little --
Just 
A little
And enough
To know
Now
I am
Really
Starting
To care
About
You.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Talking without words



Pressing my fingernail
Against your skin
Running my hand
From there, back to your chin
I have not said a word, but
You grasp how my mind works.
You blink that way and I know
You are talking to me
Passing on a message
From the heart of a window. 
We are having 
A great conversation 
Without even having
To exchange a single word.
Everything that must be said
Our feelings that ought to be shared
Here we are, doing so,
Just you and I, talking in silence
Without the sound of a word;
Between the fluster of the wind
And hearts that are about to discover.


Blowing hot and cold



We may have doubts about what we want at times;
but we always, always are sure about what we do not want.


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Bridge



It is the bridge
Between
Now and forever
The bridge of fear 
And are we crossing over?
It is the bridge between
Possibility and doubt
Will we stay stuck
Or are we willing to try?
It is the bridge between
Who we are and
What we could be
Will the distance
Abide
Or will it be us
Eventually?
Are we ready 
To venture
Travel across this bridge
To our future?
Hold me tight
Let us take a chance
And bridge the gap
I am inclined
If you are
To cross the bridge
That leads to
You and I.


Sunday, June 30, 2013

Beauty is on the outside



A couple of days ago, I came across a Russian commercial that awakened my interest straightaway. Basically, the story goes as follows: a handsome young man from a lower class falls promptly in love with this goddess at his workplace. He goggles her from afar -- and she does not look at him once, not even when he nonchalantly tries to approach her. As if he was just air, she remains indifferent and continues with her errands. Then, the commercial moves to that man taking a shopping spree. He cleans up real nice, casual suit and all, finds a suave ride -- a black BMW X5 I reckon -- and runs into her in the streets 'by chance' again. This time, the gorgeous woman gives him the time of day: she climbs into his slick BMW and he invites her to some fine dining in some fancy restaurant. They have a blast; laughing and flirting. She is charmed, throws in the towel and decisively spends the night with him. The next day, she cannot wipe that grin off her face and when she suddenly faces him at the office once more, she simply cannot believe her eyes: he is the man she rejected the day before, he is the man she was smitten with the night before. 

Now when I got to read the comments on this particular advertisement, my first observation is of course the non-surprise of the massive wave of opinionated and negative remarks:  "That is the reality, boys!" "Money can buy you love", "A pity that there are still so many women like that", "This speaks for itself! Women only look at the wallet", "That bitch deserves to be duped", "This is a lesson for all the women who are superficial and conceited", "I doubt that there are people who look at inner beauty alone!" Evidently, these statements promptly got me into thinking.

We live in a society these days in which inner beauty is acclaimed: men and women are encouraged by thousands of inspirational messages on a daily basis, our monthly magazines perpetually coerces us to embrace ourselves and we regularly receive a confidence boost from our own surrounding as well: the family, the friends, the person who shares our life and the occasional friendly person who pays us a pleasant compliment. We hope for a person to love us for who we are. Like Eddie "Prince Akeem" Murphy beckons in Coming to America (1988): "When I marry, I want the woman to marry me for who I am, not because of what I am." In that light, it means that if we were stripped down to our inner assets, the coveted one would love us still -- just like Lisa McDowell fell in love with Akeem when she thought he was a simple goat herder.  In point of fact, we are taught that attractiveness depends on personality and intelligence; on values and spirit; on ethos and a smile. And if we master a good character -- everything else is secondary: looks, weight, background, the past and naturally, how much money we have in the bank account.

Nevertheless, as it is demonstrated in that Russian commercial, reality appears to be a different story entirely. It is a walking contradiction to what we are instructed; it is a rebuttal of what we ourselves desire. Men (and maybe women even more so?) will examine the looks, the weight, the car, the social circumstances and of course, the wallet before showing even the slightest interest in getting to know someone better. One could ask him/herself, does it truly all come down to the uniform? A jumpsuit versus a suit? In essence, the man she rejected and the man who was to her liking are one: same face, same body, same personality, the exact same person. Or... is that really the case?


Do not misunderstand me, I am not one to profess that wallet and body hold more prestige than soul. I highly concur with the saying that looks may attract someone at first, but it is personality that will keep two people together. Without an ounce of doubt, inner beauty wins over the outer one, every time, in all cases, in each relationship. However, and I might be butchered for saying this, I strongly disagree with two matters. For one, let us be honest, looks matter -- especially at first sight at the very least. And I do not regard this as being narrow-minded at all; but it is irrefutable that our conception of beauty relies on eyes at the beginning. We walk into a cafe, a bar, a club; what we look out for is looks. We develop celebrity crushes just by scanning films, music videos and pictures; we do the same when we stroll around town. True to form, it might be shabby to bank on physical assets alone, but we must insist that who or what we consider beautiful is not a pivotal affair. Physical appearance does matter because aesthetics are appealing -- as straightforward as that.
Furthermore, and more importantly, the truth about looks is more than point-blank, physical features; it is also how one presents him/herself. Taking the proper time to groom oneself, giving importance to diet and exercise, defining one's own (fashion) style is definitely a reflection of the inner persona. Fact is, in any given situation, I have noticed that the most attractive person is not necessarily the 'classic, pretty' face by model standards as we would assume; but the most striking will be the one who is confident about what s/he looks like -- no matter what our idea of beauty is. In addition, I always have the impression that a person grows more lovely the more I get to know them -- because who they are is written on their face and body. So the physique is essential: it is not the full package, that is established, but reality is we do come in a package and it is okay to like it, to work on it, to nourish it.

On a second note, the claim that money does not make any kind of difference at all is pure fiction. Because the thing about money -- and people with such comments as the ones I mentioned above do not automatically take this aspect into consideration -- is that (good) money is tied to education, ambition, perseverance, dedication or hard work. In the commercial, when one looks closely, as soon as the young man exchanged the jumpsuit for a suit -- he radiated more assertiveness. Then, to answer my question earlier, he might have the same face, the same body, the same personality but it is not the same person: he gained another quality i.e. confidence. There is room for improvement -- an economic one for starters, and the rest follows. Times have changed, today's culture is different. Compared to perhaps just fifty years ago, we must certainly not descend from a wealthy family to become prosperous. We make our own fortune. There are countless examples of success stories -- and none of them happened without hard work, or still thrive  because of hard work. In actual fact, society today allows any man to dream bigger. Thus, that aspiration is not an impossible task. The educational system is not simply a privilege for the rich, but for the one who is eager to study in order to 'turn out well'. Next, the best positions with 'better' salaries are accessible if one puts in the blood, sweat and tears. We can climb the economic ladder if we give ourselves the chance to do so. It could be that some might have it 'easier' than others, still, any one of us can ignite his potential.
Yes, as a predictable consequence, a wealthier man will have -- or at least, can afford -- a better ride, a better attire, will taste better wine and will attract, effectively, more women. Simultaneously, though, it is again crucial to note that in the process, that man will obtain a greater level of self-confidence due to his self-made status. As a counterpart, I am convinced that women who want affluent men is not only because they crave luxury and that is the only thing they count on when a man seduces them; but it is because these men ooze boldness and personal drive -- which, I am assured of, are fantastic character traits we must praise. Sure, being treated like a queen comes with the territory; yet women who look for that advantage in men are not incontrovertibly gold diggers. And it is not a shame for women, successful themselves, to demand bigger things, fancy things, and aspire to live the pseudo good life. What is so wrong with being drawn to men who can provide (enough/more) security? This avowal is in no way to degrade people from a lower class, but I often feel that devaluing the power of money is not the right thing to do either. We always claim that men who have money do not need to put extra 'effort' into seducing women because they have the money -- but that is complete and utter nonsense. It is like saying that these are people without personality -- which is as wrong as affirming that those with less money are the sole ones with good character. Once more, money is closely linked to excellent facets such as having motivation and endurance. It is more than men being able to supply the 'right' things; earning (enough) money is a mirror of someone's willpower. In the end, the myth of men with money -- or women only hoping for a man with money -- is more than what lies on the surface.

In conclusion, whether we admit it or not, we will agree that beauty, inner and outer, as well as size of the wallet are key factors in the game of seduction and love. To which extent these things matter to someone is, then, a question of narrow-mindedness (or openness). Who we are triumphs -- it always has and always will --; whether  it applies to the (wo)men we seek or ourselves we aim to please. All we can do is play with the cards God has given us; and try to better ourselves constantly: our physical appearance reflects our inner beauty; and our inner beauty reflects on our physique (Just smile and see what happens in terms of testing your appeal!). Important to note is that inner and outer beauty are never contradictions - they collaborate. At the end of the day, we are a package -- a full package -- that we must (learn to) accept, love and/or work on. Then, when we get to love, well, we do love the full package as well, don't we?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Liars



You say one thing
But mean another
I feign a nod
Because I know
What you aspire

You keep by the rules
I use all the right tools
We play it carefully
Though we already
Share this affinity

We do not have
To pretend
By now
We are on the same
Wavelength

We say one thing
But we mean another
Such a farce 
Because we both know
We are untruthful

However
The beauty of
This deceit
Is that we are 
Aware
Of the truth
Behind it

It is a lie
That we need not
Demystify
The truth about
You and I
Being coy is that
You are crazy
About me
And the other way
Around

We say one thing
But our eyes intend
Another

And the heavenly feeling

If 
We are both liars;
The two of us 
Telling the same fib
To one another
Then quite frankly,
At the core of the
Conversation
Were we not telling 
The truth
All along?


Sunday, June 23, 2013

If



If it had never happened
Would I have eventually
Ended up here?
A safe haven
Daydream feelings
Knowing exactly who I am
And where I am going

Encircled by the people
I cannot go on a day
Without thinking about;
Living in a city
I adorn and that I
Will not ever leave behind

Weary of explaining myself
I still work on embracing myself
The journey I have set in
Losing it, finding it,
Exploring still, my inkling

Never losing, always winning

If it never happened
My writing would be different
But as of now
Every tingling in my body says
Me, myself and I are happy
Maybe things happen, unluckily
Yet I learned to make the things
I want
Happen eventually.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

My book



Go on and open it
My diary
My book of
Poetry
If you will.
For you
Nothing is hidden
Exposed 
And forthcoming
Every feeling
Is plain-spoken.
Either
You will read it
Right
If you do
Then 
You will 
Most likely
Recite
Each verse
As a fountain
Of goodness
Each one
Rhyming
With
A hunk of
Frankness.
My book is
Yours to read
For you and
You alone 
To study, 
To pore over 
 And be absorbed in;
You will
Interpret
Everything
Is as sincere
As it is;
 I have not
Sprinkled anything
Nothing is
Beautified
Because
I have no
Details
To gild.
My book is
Yours to read
An open book
To you only.
This is
My diary,
My book of
Poetry
For you and
You alone
To see.



Sunday, June 16, 2013

Every song is about you



It may be in the beat

Here I am thrumming
As I concentrate on
The lyrics

Grinning and
Almost convinced

Artists were thinking
Of us while writing.

It is more than those
Love declarations

It is also the ones
With a message that
Is not dead on

I have the microphone
Hitting every note

Where I am punching
The air

I do not turn a hair
When that is all
I ought to do
Sing along
And dance moves
I want to share.

I have a playlist
All day long
Volume louder
Earphones on

Music is
The mediator
Between my heart
And yours;

Every song I hear
I think of you

Not just love songs
Not pop, jazz,
Rap nor techno

Every song
I think of you
Every song is
About you

You are
Every genre

You are my
Favorite
Song.





Thursday, June 13, 2013

Timing



When is soon too soon
A blow away 
From popping 
The balloon
Or am I waiting 
Too long
Because I am
Anxious to reveal
Where my emotions
Belong

I doubt 
Whether 
It is right
But I have
Been feeling 
Quite alright
I take a photograph
And I am curious
What happens to 
The negative 
When exposed 
To light
Too soon?



I listen to her




I listen to my mother
Because she knows me
Better than
I will ever know myself
She will describe how I feel
No matter what situation
I am in
She reads me
Without ever
Misinterpreting
She senses what is best
Because my fleeing heart
Was always hers to protect
Now she listens to me
I have come to an age
Where my words are
An extension of her script
Tables are not turned
But I am her mirror
And I want her to treasure
That all I have done
Is for her
I listen to her, my mother
And she listens to my word
My sun and moon,
Our beating hearts
Yesterday and
Evermore in tune.



Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Connecting dots



Propelled to 
Another time

Sparked off

By a sound
The song
Played 
In the background

Stirred up
Shadows
Digging up 
Old photos 

A whiff of perfume
Sends 
My memories
In fume

Swallowing
Moments past
Each time 
I taste that pie

Another pats me
The same way
Calling to mind
What you used to say;

Some things
Become off limits
Affluent in 
Stories 
Spots in the 
Ordinary
Transformed
Into 
A minefield

Memories have
A way to kill
The present day
Dragged downhill

Then at times
I wonder
Why things I love
Are marred

Not everywhere
You left a mark
It is I that 
Allowed you 
To linger
In my light 

Connecting dots
When there are none
Connecting dots
That do not belong

I cease to be
Far-fetched
Some settings
Are not affixed

Here I am
Once again
In front of
The same same

But I beam 

For the best
Way to get rid of
Memories
Is to create 
New ones

That only I
Get to freeze. 




Thursday, June 6, 2013

Broken glass



I dreamt of broken glass
A paper thin cut
And a bleeding heart
It pains to endure
An imaginary wound
I stay sound asleep
But the torment is real

I sense a kiss 
On my cheek
Am I dreaming 
Or is this really happening
I cannot tell 
The difference
Whether
My eyes are kept shut
Or I am here to wake up

I squeeze my soul
Then, I am sure
I am dreaming 
Reality
And I am realizing 
This exquisite dream

Everything is quiet
My heart is playing
Music

 For once
I am synchronized
A rarity I highly prize
Your soft kiss
On my cheek
Suddenly a potential
Of gluing back 
This broken piece. 




Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Tip of the tower



I cannot believe
I have not noticed before
When you have been
Right there all along
Every waking hour
Never mind the weather
I stand in front of you
In that silence of reflection
There is a token so true.

And I thought I had seen it all
Studied every single detail like my
Favorite painting on the wall
Then out of the blue,
When the color of the sky
Was everything but blue
Gawking at me
The tip of the tower
The tallest one in the city
Hovering over my shoulder.

It is ravishing, and a riddle
How I failed to spot it
Up until this second
And it struck me
I had been fortunate
Without ever minding it
Having had this view
Whenever I wanted.

Perhaps therein lies the mystery
Life filled with eye-openers
Even in the midst of certainty
Yet for all one knows
You are able to see
Clearly; only once you are
Truly ready.

Life piles up,
Each detail
Already beautiful
But such a different sight
A better one, that is right
After it dawns on you
The top of the tower is
Shedding the appropriate light,
Regardless how long it took
For you to figure out.

Now I see;
And I appreciate it
Much more lately
Perhaps because
Now I am ready.

You are the
Cherry on my sundae
The one that makes
My life landscape
More poignant
More significant
With each passing day.



Thursday, May 30, 2013

Picture-imperfect


We are bent on making a good impression
As we try bringing our A Game to the table
Raising germane topics in the conversations
In the hope of displaying a slightly better version
Of who I really am, and who I am in your opinion

Even so, I consistently fall in the same trap
My mind always buzzing and I say what is on my heart
Wrapped in nervousness, I am the same opinionated
But it comes off as if I were completely demented
Or at least that is what I pick up on my deportment

And all of sudden that is when you make me realize
Even in my most unusual state, you are able to recognize
That I have never been more myself than when I have butterflies
You glimpse at my soul as I look into your eyes, and your verdict
Nothing sweeter than me being picture-imperfect.



Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Right through me



In my prattle
A smitten gal
In my silence
A heart flutter
In my chuckle
A nervous soul
In my tremble
A happy fool
In my gape
A riveting thought
In my jiggle
My interest shown

An example of old saying
Butterfly wings flapping
Hearing birds singing
All written on my skin
When persuaded to fail
A closer look into the realm
For beneath the willies
I had nothing to worry
Because you were still able
To see right through me.



Sunday, May 19, 2013

Universe




The universe is testing me
It did not inquire
When there was plenty
Of opportunity

It picked the right timing
That it could not be
Rather unmistakably
More unfitting

Had I been asked before
I would have been certain
About my answer
But now I am bewildered

How am I to dismiss
When each time
The suspension is tempting

How can it come to an end
When soon enough
Never seems to arrive late

A clash with the universe
As it forces me to reassess
The choices
I am about to make
When really
I should not be
Doubting

Even for just a second.






Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Pinch



Unfortunately, the only way to set someone free at times is by hurting them.




Right turn




Rather a bad decision that leads to the right place; than the right place leading to bad decisions.



Sunday, May 12, 2013

Constant


In a world 
That constantly
Changes
A snap of a finger
And it is 
Winter all over again
When supposedly, spring 
Has already come in
There are
These 
Mood swings
Without warning 
Often
Bad news
Depending
And once 
What you thought
Was sure
All of a sudden
Alters
Allure.

But if you are 
Lucky enough
To find 
This passion
That lasts for life
A fixed appetite
When there is
No cloud 
In the sky 
A special device
That gets you
Through
The tough
Loyal at all times
The kind of love
That never declines;

For me
It is 
Electronic music
My savior 
If there is a need
My fervor
When there is no need

And lifelong 
I will be
Dancing 
To its beat.

It is
The constant
I can count on
No matter
The situation

From the bass
I will never part
Techno,
You will always have 
My heart.



Friday, May 10, 2013

Out of my system




It is poison
Flowing
Through my veins
My mind troubled
And waves of loss
Are all I gain
Perhaps
I am dependent
On the pain
Years of being 
Borderline obsessed 
Imprisoned in chains

I will  deny
Until 
It is too late
I will pretend
Until 
My body breaks
Ever Conflicted
Between
Worse and wrong
Also God
Knows
The fight was long



This is the last straw

I am going
To heal 
From your claws
The spite
Sucking the 
Life out of me
The darkness
Behind this smile
You will no longer see
I am getting you
Out of my system 
Extracting you
From under my skin
Now let me live
With mistakes past
But my future
You will never
Ever again
Grasp. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Hugs



Each time we hug
It is the moment
I unplug

At times 
From life's
 Harsh realities

Most times
Toasting to life's 
Long-lasting
Delicacies.

I can still recall
The first time we met
Not yet recognizing
It was going to set

This journey
We have been sharing
Creating our own kind
First-class experiences 
In the routine. 

We dance and have coffee
Talk future and memories
Building 
Brick by brick 
The most precious

Skyscraper of friendship. 

Each time we hug
We are honest at heart

Whether we are 
Bursting out
With laughter
Or the hours we are 
Caught in a sob.

My life is living it all with you

The hurt, the pain
The best, the great

There are not enough
Thank you's 
To show my gratitude
But I hope you know

 Each time we hug
It is me also exhibiting

I love you.



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Writing



Passion is filling a void
That can never overload
Words flowing incessantly
But the glass always seems
Like it is running empty
Though a nod of satisfaction
When a piece is done
As soon as you think enough
You are once again a sponge
It is the people you adore
The new ideas you absorb
The tranquility you then feel and
A piece of paper becomes a thrill
You will not ever turn weary
Passion is fuel in the ordinary
Your own sun rising daily
Even when inspiration is lacking
All you wish to do is feed on
Words that acquire a life of their own
Hoping to be a channel
Of the change they enable
Words are more than what is needed
More than what you love and covet
Only writing can be result and seed
The cure and the cause that sees
Why passion keeps your feet on the ground
And rockets your soul to a higher ground.


Not anymore




She does not live there anymore
Pass by as often as you want
She has already closed that door
To the past, to the past
She finally said goodbye. 

It has been a while 
Since she moved away
But it took her

An eternity and a day

To move on 
From the past, from the past
She is no longer burdened.  

Everything became stale 
Yet she soldiered on 
Even then when hopes were frail
She fought past, She fought past
Til she smiled at last. 


Whether it is
Irony or cliche
To come walking by

When her feelings no longer sway

It is a blast from 
The past, the past
She no longer yens for. 






Sunday, April 28, 2013

Do not bother



Not everything
Has a reason
Not everything
Needs an
Explanation

Why mull over
Analyze over and over
When possibly
Things really do
Just happen
With conclusively
Nothing further

Not a wandering mind
Not a wondering heart
That has to examine
In pursuit of
Meaning.

Then take them
As they come
Empty words
With no substance

But
Listen carefully
I will say it only once
The truth in its entity

Things do not 
Just happen
For us
For the idea
Of us
Is still bound
To the past
Whether
We want it
Or not

So if there is no essence
In these exchanges

Do not bother
Showing up
If there is not
The slightest hint
That there is
A comeback.


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Paradise



Do not tell me
It does not exist
Do not dare me
To cease

To dream

I have seen Paradise
From above
Now right before my eyes
I fall in love

A kind of blue
That is unreal
A moment so pure
Only happy hearts can feel

Leaving footprints
In the sand
I deem
We are one with the sun

Dear Paradise
That is ours
Dear Muriel and Remy
That made it ours

We leave
But not unchanged

Paradise Island

On your shores,
Our love for you
Forevermore remains. 


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

She


She will wear
Jeans with holes
She will swear
If one annoys
She will flaunt
Her blow dried hair
Which she took
An hour
To prepare

She will fight 
You with fists
She will not
Be intimidated 
When there is
A feast
Her favorite film
Is Scarface
She will shed
A tear
When a hero
Falls from grace

She will drink
The bottle of wine
She will work out
To keep her line
She loves looking
Like a a doll
She will beat
You at football
Her cute quirks
Will amaze
And her underwear
Is always lace

A woman
With a girl
attitude
A woman
Whom guys
Can call dude
She is not
Either/or
She is both
The girl next door
And one
They at times
Abhor 

You will
Try to fit her
In a box
But why
Would you ever
Want
To tame a fox


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Photocopy


I do not wish to reduplicate
From you and the past
I want to break
However, I reckon
Unconsciously
I am attracted
To the same facets
Persistently.

All I have been inclined to
The last couple of months
Is stop being reminded of you
But what seems to 
Entice me
Bits and pieces of you
In another individual
I see.

How can I start anew
When deep in my heart
All I still desire is you
My heart
Set on ice and fire
Is history
Then why am I doing
A photocopy.

It is not deliberate
But what seduces me  
Are colors of a similar palette
How am I to let go
If still submerged in shadow
Though I know it is another person
Am I following
An identical pattern.

  


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Let us talk about the weather



There comes a time
We should move past
Talking idly 
About weather
Headlines and topics
Which are popular

Has it come to that point
We could let our guard down
Opening a window
Earning a glimpse at the soul
Discovering sides
That are more personal

That line disappears
Between the secured sphere
And everything that is deep

Now we scrutinize
What ticks you off
How you get to love
And we assure
Whether we get along
In the outside world

We are all acquaintances
Tested to be a confident
And true to form
Not all deserve 
Sincere attachement

But unless we take
That step
That moment in time
Specific without end
From being a contact
To becoming a friend
That is all we will consider
Weather, the trivial
And anything that is proper.


It is yesterday



It is yesterday
That carves today
It is yesterday
That molds this way

How we get to feel
Decided upon
How the past is sealed

If we get to release
Solely hinges on
This former piece.


It is yesterday
That guides the present
It is yesterday
That steers this engine

Never was it the question
Whether or not
We shall abandon

The only concern
Is whether or not
We can change our opinion.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

My heart is made of stone



Take a closer look
At the picture I took

Everything is the same
But can it be
 There is a latent possibility

That like I, that you descry
How one is shaped 
Just like a heart.

Could always conceive
My heart was made of stone
When unexpectedly
In the midst of them all
I found one laying on its own

One is solitary
Concealed and ignored
When looking at the horde

But bring your magnifying glass
There is a precious little gem
Buried in the mass.

Could always certify
My heart was made of stone
One should drop or hit
Ricochet off water
Yet each time
Unscathed once more

Why was it not softer
Long had I pondered
Arduous to carry
Such a heavy stone

But when I saw
This pretty one 
Located on the floor
My heart is made of stone

Not otherwise 
That is my wont.

Becoming scarce
But one day I know
One will take the same photo
And be glad 
This heart of stone
In the midst of them all
Had not another form. 




Sunday, March 10, 2013

Fire



It is the moment
Right before
When two are yet
Uncomfortable
Everything else
Dissolves
As the two
Share
The limelight
How striking
Not even noticing
How their soul
All at once
Disrobed.

The air is so tense
Any second
It could break
Any second
One could shake
The air is thick
 So thick
They almost
Cannot take it.

They exchange words
But their bodies
Shiver
They make love
With the eyes
Two lives capsized
Reaching the heights
Without even
A touch.

It is the moment
Right before
Two lovers
Set on fire
Attraction
Is never
Calculated
A mystery
Why two
Become
Magnets
The love that is
Inevitable
That is the love
... Desire.






  

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

As white as snow




The silence is gripping
And I know at this second
God is giving me a moment
To seize it in its integrity.

The fresh air that I breathe
I find my inner peace
There is nothing else I seek
As the sun clasps my cheeks.

Now my soul is as white as snow
And this way, sometimes narrow
Though I see footprints on the floor
It is still my own footsteps I draw.

The sky has never been so blue
Suddenly, it is the world I review
I am so little facing all this splendor
And all I hope is my writing can mirror.


Sunday, February 24, 2013

All good things



I have heard it all before
People claiming that this is
A reality we cannot ignore

All good things
Must come to an end

And now when they finally do
The past flashes before my eyes
Looking back on
The great moments
I spent here, in the company of
Terrific friends.

It is the end of an era
And I get teary-eyed
As I bid my final goodbye

All good things
Come to an end

I am not quite certain
What the future holds
But as long as I have you
By my side, creating something new
With confidence
Our new era just began.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Beyond


There is only a few
Whom you can call
Faithful and true;

Beyond borders and time,
Beyond distance,
Your words and mine,
Beyond our actions,
What differentiates us,
And what unites us,
All walks of life narrow down
To one single point,

Having you in my life.

It is often said
That nothing lasts,
The unimaginable happens
And the unbreakable can fall apart.
But when I look at us,
Recurrently get the chance
To become so overwhelmed
By the power of love, trust and friendship
I know
- Into eternity, I glance.



Sunday, February 3, 2013

Setback



So long I have been without
Now that I have you back
I cannot seem to figure out
Whether I missed you or not.

At first I was cross
Everything turned to chaos
No longer my own boss
Without you I was lost.

Obliged to rearrange
Usual habits became strange
But slowly all that came to change
I celebrated with champagne.

When I deemed it impossible
That every day would be a battle
I found ways I never thought of
Greater than any I had walked before.

So long have I been without
Now that you are back
I  keep on having setbacks
Still living as if I had to cut back.



So maybe when we get detached
It is not a time to miss what we had
The gap we get to fill when there is a hole
       Better than what we had when we were whole.