Sunday, March 29, 2009

The last piece of the puzzle

- A song by nicole bataclan and ivan huerto - 

I’ve traveled countless roads before,
All these times, I wanted to take my boat off shore


In the search of something else, something new.
But what it was, I never really knew.

But now, it seems like the time has come
To come back to town, to settle down.
You were waiting there, as I went in.
I felt a rush, I felt it from within.


We'll cross the finishing line.
Together, everything will be fine.
You became my blanket, my perfect fleece
For this puzzle, my love, you are the last piece.


I was afraid, I was so alone.
Yet I didn't say stop. Just shouted: "Look above!" 
But never had I expected; you would be the one.


To say love, shout a whole lot of the above.




You were brave enough; you took a chance on me.
Across the sea, at the end of the road.
You managed to see, respect the real me.
When all thought it was too hard to decode.


We'll cross the finishing line
Together, everything will be fine.
You became my blanket, my perfect fleece
For this puzzle, my love, you are the last piece.


For this puzzle, my love, you are the last piece.






Wake Up Call

There's only a few people in the world you know you can call at six in the morning. So late or too  early, it ain't never all that pretty. No matter what we say, and this we share: we don't communicate. Nothing to repair, nothing but despair. You don't even bother, so why do I... care?! 


-Milka liebt Erdbeer

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The circus

Children have this certain glow, and nothing ever really comes close to it. Like any other remarkable, irreplaceable moment; it’s a picture that no camera can ever really take, a video that no camcorder can ever really capture. Of course both of these devices are used as a support, but it is only the sensation you feel that can ever really take, capture that perfect spark in their eyes.

It’s not that easy to explain where that youthful glimmer comes from. It is common knowledge to believe that it is the age of innocence: the naivety and pureness that accompany their beings. And it is probably the truth, although perhaps, as it always is, there must be more to it… Either way, all know that this sincere expression in the eyes of children has the power to ignite something quite unique in our eyes, those of us, adults, as well. Luckily enough, some get to experience that same glare children have every single day of their lives. On the other hand, others are reminded of it only too seldom.

There is one place on earth where you can grasp this childlike glow in numbers. In fact, this following experience is regarded as being an absolute must for any child: it is colorful and exciting, it is magical, it is another world. You do have a few ideas on what this location might be; but it is not Disney World, it isn't the zoo and it is not attending those famous birthday celebrations at McDonald’s. Something else, slightly crazier, may as well come to mind like… the circus for instance? Yes indeed, the fabulous world of the circus: one of the absolute musts in a little person’s life.

The circus is so volatile and enriching! Children, young and older,  get a taste of very different sights, which will make anyone jump to the roof. The clowns attract your attention immediately with their funny self and show. You have those fantastic acrobats and jugglers who always manage to take your breath away. You also get to see trained animals such as tigers and lions, whose masters are so very brave. Of course you should have the host who is bubbly and full of energy. And finally, you’ll find the great magician whose tricks completely fascinate, amaze you and consequently, you’ll die trying finding out how he did it... And so on, and so forth. The fabulous world of the circus: don’t children just love it?

Well, take a second to answer that… because actually, they don’t. Not all of them at least.

The reason it isn’t Disney World, the zoo or the superb birthdays at McDonald’s is because, when you carefully think about it, the circus – in comparison with these other places – is really more of a place for us adults, the older ones. It might be labeled as a childlike event, but it is a complete and utter lie that all children are smitten with the circus like they are in love with Disney World: many of them actually get out of the circus scared and shocked, instead of being truly amused by clowns, magicians, acrobats, jugglers and animal tamers. Was getting afraid part of the plan? Not quite. Don’t get the wrong idea: these artists manage to make you jump to the roof by surprising you, making you laugh and get you all curious. And that is absolutely lovely. But the scary part doesn’t rely on the artists’ talent itself, getting frightened is caused by this exaggerated happy mood, the make-up, the costumes, the music and that unique smell to the circus that is of sawdust and grass. Hate it or love it, for better or for worse – the circus can be quite freaky, and traumatize you. That glow that children, young and older, have in their eyes may lose its intensity the second they leave the tent.

You assume that the next time you’ll visit a circus again will be when you’ll need to bring your own child or nephew to it; when in fact, it is much, much sooner than you think. Reality is: that fabulous world not only comes to town “once a year”, but fast enough in a sense that the circus is in town all-year round, as you realize that there is something out there that can become quite similar to going to the circus like… Dating in your twenties for instance? No, wait a second, scratch that. Dating in your twenties is not at all like going to the circus. As a matter of fact, you are well signed up for  joining it… because you don’t leave the tent, you kind of just stay in it.  Hate it or love it, for better or for worse.

In the dating circus, you’ll find men who, like clowns, attract your attention immediately. They are with good intentions such as making you happy and laugh with ease; but somehow tend to end up frightening you. You’ll find men who, like acrobats and jugglers,  will take your breath away and you’d also adore them for that… but only to a certain extent as simply looking at them might have been more satisfying after all. You’ll find men who, like animal tamers, are so very brave and admirable; but you cannot help but think this man rhymes with 'insecure future' as you are a firm believer that anything – the worst – can happen. Of course you’ll find men, like the host, whose bubbly personality and energy you will enjoy immensely, but unfortunately can get tiresome in time as his jokes get a little too far-fetched. And finally, you’ll find men who, like magicians, will fascinate, amaze you. He’ll keep you on your toes. How does he do it? It’s too good to be true and you’ll always wonder. He must have too many tricks under his sleeve. And so on, and so forth. Don’t older children just… hate the circus?

It is perhaps cruel to compare men to clowns, magicians or acrobats. Yes, it is insensitive for not all men, like circus characters, scare off people: that is not their intention. What they are good at is: they amuse you at first, and then they end up terrifying you [ironical laugh.] Scratch that. The circus is not a cynical or tragic world, it’s a magical one! But there’s a difference between the traditional circus and the dating circus: when the curtains fall, artists take off their costumes and make-up. In the dating circus, it turns out to be a little harder to see what’s really behind the mask: when there is no show anymore, no spectators left; when you wish everything to be for your eyes only. They can evidently remain circus characters because that is the core of their person, but they should not continuously put on a show for you, give you too much "make believe's". You don’t want a “never-serious” clown or a magician with too many tricks under his sleeve, but you do want a man that will ignite that sparkle in your eyes, like the one he gives (or should do, at least) when he’s in front of children, young and older ones. Luckily enough, some have had a great experience with the circus, and the dating circus. Others, on the other hand, unfortunately keep on losing that intensity in their eyes, and are now reminded of that glow only too seldom. Hate it or love it, for better or for worse. The circus’ purpose is to please you (or is supposed to, at least), so why does dating feel like way too much of a 'circus, circus'? It is perhaps time to leave the tent, even if you never really signed up for it. Disney World, anyone? 



Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Crazy

You read my mind. And I read yours.
I hold your hand. And you hold mine.
You feel my heartbeat. And I feel yours.
I am yours and you are mine.


Crazy, but it seems like I am you and you are me.


Yet you and I both know,
And there are no tricks, it ain't a show.
Now that you have found me.
And I found you. Finally.


Crazy, but why don't the cards say "us" is our destiny?



Friday, March 6, 2009

Labelling

A thought has been haunting me recently. I soon realized that I haven’t written in such a long time (yes, you do get in that busy train but that is still no excuse). Having that factor in mind made me conscious about another matter as well, for there has been a lot going on lately that I haven't been able to write down  either... "emotionally” about...well, certain things. I am in complete doubt when it comes to giving a simple and concise description -- an explanation -- to, for instance, relationships: are we talking about a fling here, can this be friendship, something real perhaps?  Situations:  it does seem ambiguous, even wrong, can it all be worthy? Feelings: are we just dealing with infatuation, are there butterflies, or is it a case of obsession? People: …, …, …? What are you thinking, mate?


What happens when you actually aren't capable of judging anymore? The world just turned the other way around. Ironic… Don’t you think?

Define. Categorize. Label. Although our conviction brings us to believe that we aspire to live in this non-judgemental society, it soon became clear to me   that it is an impossible and unattainable goal. In every situation we are to encounter and every person who we will get to meet lead us to judge: for we are always to speak our mind (silently and/or out loud). It is said that the only one to judge you is GOD. And even how strongly we agree with this statement -- because it is indeed true, we are all aware of the fact that in the meantime, there are a countless number of eyes which will cross our path: other of our family members, the friends, our boyfriends/girlfriends, our neighbours, the immense internet network, our everyday people, our everynight people, our not-so friends, we also get to judge ourselves … need I say more?  We might evidently not care about how and by whom we are seen. But the thing is, we are always seen and labelledHow you are and want to be seen is just a question of taste.

De facto it is the same regarding our standing point while we try to analyze a certain situation or a relationship, aren’t we always putting a name on it (instead of letting it flow)? Don't we turn to our circle of friends and loved-ones to ask for their honest opinion on the matter? And finally, when it comes to emotions… well, yes, our heart is the only one to answer all the questions one desires.

Our society can be free-flowing and open-minded, as we want it to - or as it should be. But it will never be not judgemental. We really need to acknowledge the fact that -- when it comes to all the elements in/of our society --, it is  a real judgement call  out there. However, once again, labelling is  not always heading for the negative or that shaky road as we may often fear. At the end, it just truly makes the mind a little lighter as we shape every single definition: about people, feelings, situations, relationships. I have been told that I am someone who has tendencies of seeing things in either “white or black"... at extremes. Perhaps it is a flaw, I agree. But at this very moment, I am right about wanting to define, to wish to categorize, to really get a label. Know where to stand, doubting is a killer.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Barenaked



There comes a time when you cannot bluff anymore.
Heads up. And these are my cards.
If I win... When I lose.


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Milka liebt Erdbeer

Having been described as a “Waterfall Of Words” for as long as I can remember, I am the type of person who always managed to express herself without having much difficulty to really get what was on her mind through. I’ve been infatuated with WORDS ever since I could talk, listen, read and write. There are great speeches, songs and quotes that will forever echo in my head, masterpieces whose words were gently savored… And my heart melts each and every time such fabulous or even just simple words, of course wisely used, touch my soul. Words give us the freedom to not only put ourselves out there wholeheartedly and communicate, but one will always be surprised by the massive follow-through words and their meanings can procreate.

In my case, I would definitely say that it has been some sort of love/hate relationship when it comes to writing. Some days, words just flow out of my system (Don’t I love those days!?) Other times, focusing on the art of writing is my only mission (which, unfortunately, can become pretty frustrating.) But overall, God has been awesome to Milka liebt Erdbeer, that is me: by perpetually nourishing my love for writing and giving me the ability to explore words to the fullest.

Writing is my hobby… It is my passion… It is the one thing I could -- and will spend my life doing, working on, living for. People ask me why I love writing this much, the only answer I can give is that I cannot see myself doing anything else.

But there are occasions, like today, where you have absolutely no clue what to say exactly: when losing your words turns out to be something that is most unusual. How it does not matter that words have an easy way with you! Opting for confusion or a moment of weakness are probable reasons for this phenomenon, yet it seems as if there is something else -- different -- behind it. And it suddenly hits you as you get to realize that every so often, an authentic, pure and quiet... wordless instant suffice in order to once again remember why words have such an easy way with you: they exist to define incredible feelings. Indeed, irony kicks in as...

"Sometimes, it is just nice to remain in silence with someone."
- Milka liebt Erdbeer