Monday, January 12, 2009

Feelings in a box?

A thought has been haunting me lately.

It got me to question: why is it that it comes so easily to put an important -- yet unfortunately one that has ended -- "time of your life" in a (shoe) box? It will maybe be lost and thrown away; but more than often, the box just rests hidden somewhere in the cabinet or under the bed. When the situation isn't like it used to be anymore, simple -- and even useless -- things that you alone know how meaningful they are, such as a cinema coupon or the receipt of a restaurant, become somehow... unkind. And all the souvenirs just end up in a shoe box.

Am I a material girl in a material world like Madonna? Oh yes, definitely, but I do not mean that in a negative way. I reckon that we all really like stuff to be around us because it's an evidence that we are feeling quite alright. But then again, it happens that changes come our way, whether we want them or not. And what is usually the best way to deal with "what's been"? Down the drain with reminders of "you being happy, and him looking sexy" (quoted by Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrie Bradshaw in "Sex and the City")

I then asked myself: can we say that our life is actually made of boxes? Of course, there are the boxes which are always a delight to open and there are those that are way better off kept out of our sight. And it's at this point that I realized that materialism can only reach a certain limit. The "hardest" box to carry is, and will always be the hurt that sleeps in our own heart. Human beings tend to find a way to escape by avoiding or getting rid of evidence. It is very easy to do that deed but feelings cannot be put aside or be forgotten, even how much we want to bury them. It's a hunch that is uncontrollable, and which overwhelms us.

Boxes: proof of memories... 

The heart is the organ that betrays our mind, and  materialism. Yet fortunately, at the exact same time, it is also the weapon that will help us grow as individuals. Times of happiness, times of glory, times of mistakes, times of pain... We cannot get away from our feelings for the simple reason that these boxes -- great and not-so great -- form our being every step of the way.

Why are the boxes, so difficult and unlikely to be opened, mostly hidden and not in the waste bin? I guess it is because we get to understand that EVERYTHING that box contains is simply part of who we are. One day, a shorter span for some... much longer for others: we'll get to open THE box without feeling any bitterness, any remorse. The burden is lost, and the box is regarded as just another box. That is when we'll know we move or have moved on: we learn to deal with our past and our box(es), and the rest relies on the future.