Thursday, May 5, 2011

The groupie

Last monday, I had the chance to see Boyce Avenue in concert for the first time. My cousin introduced me to Alejandro, Daniel and Fabian Manzano a.k.a. Boyce Avenue a few months ago via YouTube ( On the same day, I subscribed to the channel and have been following their updates regularly ever since. Consequently, when my friend told me that they were coming over, I was ecstatic. I had been looking forward to the event for weeks now and the wait was finally over. I was so thrilled to see Boyce Avenue perform -- in particular, I was dying to hear Alejandro Manzano, whose voice is more than heavenly, sing live -- and truth be told, they were much better than I imagined. Artists that are down-to-earth, humble, with incredible stage presence and whose talent, so effortless, exceeds all limits: the brothers of Boyce Avenue are unquestionably the kind of musicians I respect, admire and support. 

These men were so soothing to the ears -- and I must add, extremely soothing to the eyes as well, especially guitarist and backing vocalist Fabian Manzano. He is ridiculously gorgeous, mysterious and the way he loses himself in music delighted, and this I am sure of, all the women in the crowd. Straightaway, for some bizarre reason, I couldn't help but think of all those young girls who have been obsessing over Justin Bieber in the past year. The faces of my old classmates also came to mind, as I remembered how they used to go crazy over some rocker, pop star or DJ. Then, evidently, I didn't fail to forget the star crushes that I once had as well, such as Jared Leto, John Frusciante and River Phoenix. And like in those glorious days, in an instant, I developed a major crush on Fabian Manzano. Aroused? A little hysterical? Shouting "I love you" after each song? Indeed, last monday, I was reminded of the rush one feels when she gets an innocent -- yet massive -- crush on someone; ergo, I acted like a total groupie. 

This incident immediately got me to reflect deeply on the odd phenomenon of having a crush on an unattainable person. Whether we are twelve, twenty-five or forty years of age, I am certain that this giggly feeling is one that never grows old. Celebrities, normal people but who have great sex appeal and/or a friendly charisma, simply fascinate us, normal people. In truth, it is really a complex thing because I could not help but wonder how and why we get to fancy -- even go bananas for -- someone we do not know personally. We might listen to his songs repeatedly, follow him on twitter or get to read about his whereabouts in the media, still, we as fans will only ever be familiarized with the public figure. And although we may feel a delusional closeness or get a glimpse of his personality during interviews or concerts, he remains a complete stranger. In definitive, we are not "crazy" about the person itself (since we do not know him); but we only get attracted to the image we make of that person alone. Nevertheless, we still have the impression that such a character can somewhat meet the traits of the man of our dreams: mighty fine, never deceiving, perfect... unattainable. Ultimately, maybe it's wanting what we cannot have that is so gripping.

Of course, having this kind of crush, i.e. longing for someone we cannot have, not only applies to stars or public figures; but there will be a number of men we will get to meet in the real world that are, unfortunately, as unattainable as a celebrity. Obviously, these men are unreachable for different reasons: some of the men we will be drawn to are already taken or married; we might get a crush on someone who is gay and has, in all fairness, no interest in women. And finally, there are those men -- and every woman in this world knows at least one that fits this criteria: the one who is unchangeable. Simultaneously, she is also aware that this man is the kind she should stay away from at all cost. Nonetheless, what is predictable always happens: many tend to fall for this type of man simply because he is out of reach, whether he is married, rejects us, has issues or does not want to commit. It is a challenge most women are more than willing to take on. We are well aware of the implications and consequences, yet still feel a sense of rush each time we meet one: is it because a person is so unattainable that makes him so damn attractive? And for some bizarre reason, our little heart is insane enough to hope for a happy ending and believe that we will be the one who can change him, that we'll be the one he will fall in love with. 

But, in the long run, we know it is an impossible (or very improbable) task. Therefore, maybe we should carefully rethink the reasons for such disillusion. In definitive, we might not be crazy about the person itself, but we are only attracted to the image we make of that person. When we look at things from another angle, we can perceive that an unattainable man will not meet the traits of the man of our dreams at all... specifically because he remains out of reach. And unlike the case of a celebrity crush, these men may seem perfect at first glance -- but they are always deceiving and forever unattainable. Ultimately, maybe the only reason we like to chase after them is because wanting what we cannot have is indeed so gripping. It makes us feel alive and disturbingly, yet blissfully, vulnerable!

In conclusion, we can say that a one-sided love can be both fun and frustrating. It is healthy to have a crush, no  matter how old we are. It is always soothing to the soul to think nice of someone -- even if that person is a famous persona. After all, being a groupie is but a sign of respect, admiration and support. And the other times when we are in love alone, in real life, we should just remember that unfulfilled dreams never made anyone happy.