Saturday, February 14, 2009

The clean slate

You never know who’s waiting for you… You never know when love is coming your way… But if tonight I look again into your eyes…And it’s you… And it’s me you love -Kaskade 

The butterflies going crazy in your stomach, how you can feel your big heart grow fonder, the so-called cliché yet just genuine impression of walking on your own little cloud… Can everyone please shout: LOVE is in the air?! How it is so very warm and exciting to have this fire burning inside........................................................................ well, actually, once again! 

After going through a hard break-up and unfortunately a (yet another) failed relationship, consequently there is nothing comparable to feeling it as if it were for the very first time! Something coming back to the surface when you strongly believed it got lost along the way. It might have even crossed your foolish little mind to think you'll not ever be able to experience love afresh. But it's real and it is yours. Everything is a first: his smile, his voice, his insights… Truly like you’ve never witnessed anything more beautiful! Looking into his eyes makes your knees weak and getting to know him better gradually becomes your favorite hobby. And although you might have been familiarized with these popular habits in the past, such as choosing your cheesy love song, making up your insider jokes or finding your lil’ nicknames for each other... Every step is still to be “surprisingly” revealed! 

A fresh start: “To love like you’ve never been hurt before” 

After analyzing what it really meant to start anew particularly when falling for someone “brand new”, what it involves suddenly got me thinking... For the longest time, I never presumed it was possible to start from scratch. For my simple conviction is that whatever can be found in the baggage you carry, letting it be nice, painful or even censored, as it always is, only becomes part of your persona. Some of us committed astronomical mistakes, others would be fiercely assured to have learned a thing or two about love, and there are those who still seem to be resentful upon "coming back to the middle" (India.arie). Either way, dreading it or not, taking any relationship to the next level leads to that point where you two are going to be straightforward, and will open up to each other. Being totally honest about the “THIS IS WHO I AM i.e. where I’ve been and how I got here”-speech takes a leap of faith, a lot of courage and of course, such a dose of love! You then realize that you have just trusted something “brand new” with this “brand new” person sitting next to you. 

Everything is a first. Every step is a surprise. In matters of love, I came to the conclusion that yes indeed, we always have a clean slate. Wherever we’ve been and whoever we are -- even how badly we were bruised -- love is all about taking risks and giving chances.