Pressure cooker

It is very common for people to claim that no one, and that means absolutely no one on the face of the earth, comes close to their mother's cooking. This is especially, but not necessarily, a typical remark from individuals coming from Latin-speaking countries such as Italy, Spain, Portugal, the Philippines or Mexico. Both women and men feel this way about their mother's food: they praise her delicious dishes, brag about them to everyone and indubitably, they will miss her baking, her roasting and her grilling immensely when they haven't got a taste of it in a long time or do not eat it as often anymore. Case in point, a mother’s kitchen remains a sacred place: somewhat impenetrable and never, ever replaceable.

It is a very interesting – and yet at the same time, a questionable – observation since I could not help but wonder… Food for thought: If the world's best cooks are mothers i.e. women, then why is it that the greatest chefs nowadays are men? Shouldn't it be women since a majority of people value their mom's cooking so much more? [Pause for reflection] If you haven’t noticed it yet, just look around the next time you hit the restaurants; there is a very high chance that it is a man who is preparing your next, great meal.

As I tried to come up with some answers on my own, I realized that it was such a difficult task since I was left completely clueless. I tried to foresee, imagine the reasons behind this certain phenomenon; but none that quite satisfied me. So I surveyed around, asking friends and family about their opinion on the given subject. To their own surprise, my inquiry made them contemplate for a while [“Oh that's right, I never really thought about that…”]; and my research resulted into odd, comical situations. Many, like I, just could not find a direct answer. Some presumed that it was because these male chefs learned from the very best (i.e. their mothers) after all; others believed that most women prefer to keep their cooking low key (i.e. mothers do not automatically want to bring their talent to the public and/or work in a restaurant). A few then justified the fact that men ultimately have another – perhaps an even better – ‘culinary’ touch. Finally, I had a few people who were more straightforward, and suggested that men simply, genuinely aspire to become chefs more than women do.

It is only after discussing it with this one special friend that I stopped my investigation, finding the answer I was looking for. The weird thing is that it was only to discover that becoming a chef has basically nothing to do with being male or female. The reason why a large number of people – men as well as women – compliment their mom’s cooking more than anyone’s is because, in the end, a mother’s kitchen is more than just her exquisite cuisine. My very good friend mentioned a passage in one of his favorite books entitled “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom, that reads: "It was as delicious as it was familiar. I don't know what it is about food your mother makes for you, especially when it's something that anyone can make- pancakes, meat loaf, tuna salad- but it carries a certain taste of memory." Enlightenment.

A mother’s expertise, more than preparing the best meals in the entire universe, does indeed give a taste of memory; and it also procures the feeling of belonging and symbolizes the warmth of home. It is then no surprise that every single one of us searches, longs for, needs this somewhat empowering, comforting sensation; especially when we have been away from it for a long time. In the end, this particular taste will never be replaceable; just like a mother can never, ever be replaceable. Sadly, not all of us grew up with a mother (figure) and many claim not having such a great bond with theirs. But if we were lucky enough and were blessed with such a wonderful and admirable person in our lives, we should always be grateful for it and never take her for granted. Being a mother is not a job, it is a vocation. So let us show her how much we appreciate: from the second we were born to us eventually becoming responsible, independent adults; we should learn to sustain and always cherish the relationship we have with our mom. It is a gift from God to have someone care for us, and whose love we will never be able to see the limit of it. It is unconditional, and like her cooking, nothing ever comes close to it.

The smartass theory

There is no such thing as a dumb question.

Only people who say there is make a fool of themselves.

Come What May

There is a special time of the year that I always look forward to. It is when spring reaches its glorious point: with its green coming out, the flowers blooming in all their beauty, and it finally comes the time to bring our lovely selves out there with our (new) sexy shades and clothes! Bless, only one (or two) layer(s) needed! Ever since I can remember, no matter what I am doing and whomever I am spending it with [and not], the month of May has always been my favorite moment of the year!

We all have noticed how time goes by so fast. It is already May... As a matter of fact, many of us may have the impression of not being able to keep up with the pace. Something and everything is always happening! Work has to be done, exams are to be prepared, errands are to be run, summer holidays are to be organized (though we shall not complain about that!)... Don't we sometimes feel like life is moving one step ahead of us and it is quite hard to catch up with it? But even though I feel the immense stress and the time pass much quicker during this period of the year, knowing that the academic year is on its final straight line, I cannot help but be mesmerized by/during this month. 

Something sensational in me arises -- each time, every single year. And the funny thing is that I cannot really define the taste, whether it is sweet or spicy. Light flutters. Like a grasshopper jumping from one leaf to another, like a faded smile wanting to reappear, as if the heart had its own melody... It is an afternoon delight slowly melting in my mouth: at times it is sweet and fruity; other times, the feeling is more spicy and hot. Maybe it is the sun or even the rain, it is  perhaps due to that particular smell or the season's sale, we are also able to take the coffee outdoor at last... Or, in the end, isn't it simply because of all this positive energy that we people produce? It is then no wonder why 'love is in the air' is a common belief during this period.  

I grew very fond of May over the years. And I presume I will always be ridiculously, deeply, unbelievably smitten with May... Like love, it is a beautiful feeling and I do not know why and how it has such an effect on me. It just has. And like love, all I know is that every single second of this month will take me to a higher place. I am clueless to how and why; but it just does, without any particular reason behind it. Sounds a lot like love, doesn't it? Come what may.

In-between

Without exception, every woman in this world who ever wanted to grow out her short hair landed in this particular situation, one that is truly problematic and discouraging; one that, sadly, can never be entirely avoided: this situation is none other than the detestable moment her hair reaches the mid-length level, only timidly touching her shoulders. At this point, it is neither amusing nor very practical to style: the hair is not short anymore but it is positively not long enough either. Being stuck in-between; the woman sighs, and comes to realize that she will spend the next couple of months facing quite an unpleasant music.

Dealing with it becomes a daily fight: she tries to come up with tricks that will put that flyaway hair into some sort of order. She seeks advice from hairstylists and also searches for “How to” articles in order to find even the slightest satisfactory solution. How she would just love to put that hair in a small ponytail at all times, but having a little tree hanging from the bottom of her head does not always look as cute as it sounds. How does she handle it? How does she get to the next level without the urge of pulling her hair out before? Unless she decides to liberate her anger towards that hair by getting some extensions – which does not necessarily appeal to all women – there is no other solution than to wait for this annoying thing to just grow. She attempts to remain calm and patient… and looks forward to the day she will finally look like a decent, neat human being with long hair again.

In life, we face a lot of situations that are similar to growing out a crop. Being stuck in an in an ugly period of transition equals to times of desperation, times of torture. Undoubtedly, this is definitely not about those in-between times that we consider as well-deserved breaks, for instance like that summer or sabbatical year between High School and University. What is insinuated looks more into those moments we feel a little more restless: being in-between jobs or in-between homes are good portrayals of messy times we are sometimes confronted to. Evidently, in-between circumstances are caused by different factors, whether we provoked them or not. Nevertheless, no matter what we leave behind, let it be good or tragic; and no matter what we are opting for, of course it is a situation that screams ‘for the better’; being in limbo is never a nice place to be: it often just leaves us anxious and frustrated.

Losing a job – and not knowing when exactly we will find another one – is one of the toughest standpoints we must deal with, especially nowadays. Many might find work as soon as they quit the last one, but others collect job ads or accumulate interviews in vain. Looking for a flat during housing crisis is equally exhausting; especially if the one we have ‘in the mean time’ does not come close to what a home should feel like. Like looking at one’s awful mid-length hair in the mirror, waking up clueless to what will happen in the (near) future slowly becomes an unbearable feeling. Then, we tend to hold on to the past – a past that might not have been great, but it was at least stable and safe. Indeed, periods of transition demand more patience and words of encouragement; and we can only pray for the next best thing to happen . How can we deal with it in a more efficient way? How can we get to the next phase without the urge of pulling our hair out before?

One thing that positive (such as holidays) and negative transition phases have in common is that we are well aware of the fact that they are momentary. There is a reason why a break has an expiration date. We are not satisfied with the actual in-between situation and we want to move up to the next level quickly. The only problem we have is that – as it is the same with growing out medium-length hair – we are too impatient to reach that specific goal. This is the reason why ‘now’ makes us cross and makes us curse at the exact same time.

So, instead of moaning and hoping for the next best thing to happen fast, we could learn to use this in-between situation in our favor. It is relevant to keep in mind that life is not a race: things will eventually turn around. And when it is that time at last, we will get into it with loaded guns. There are a lot of ways to make ugly transition phases quite fruitful: we can get another diploma, we can improve our language skills (or even learn a new one), we should be tourists in our own city again, we can take a short (or longer) trip somewhere, we can take dance lessons, and we can start networking more. Indeed, there are endless solutions to make time both pass and worthwhile.

It is said that the richest ornament of a woman is her hair. In hindsight, time is the richest ornament we have in our possession. Thinking about all the different phases we get to live in a lifetime, I have learned that no time is ever wasted – even times we spend in ugly transition. We sigh, we wait. Sadly, we cannot escape from them. But the thing is: it might not fly by, but it will go by. Meanwhile, as stated above, we should make every bit enjoyable. Let us simply look around, and remember how much society and our beautiful earth have to offer.  Now, don’t we have all the time in the world to explore?

One-way street

Over time, it either grows or diminishes,

For Love can never be a constant.

Spring fling

I cannot promise you the world.

But I promise you my world. 

Absolute Power

It is funny how good weather can change everything.

Suddenly, 'having a bad day' seems like an inappropriate statement.

The price of freedom

Five years and two months have gone by and just one reflection nurtures every single morning: “yesterday is today, and today is tomorrow.” What you once called your life, your choices, your plans and your destiny lost their very sincere meanings; as deciding now only belongs to the privileged and you have become subject to the strict lifestyle and schedule forced upon you. There are no fancy surprises anymore, no extraordinary affairs to look forward to. Only the occasional visits, which gradually get to be the highlights of your existence. For you, it is all written in the books. 

Recall the cards you wrongly played -- or even thinking how bad luck stroke and the cards handed to you were just plain unfavorable in the first place. The infamous moment that changed the absolute everything develops into a greater obsession as the clock keeps on ticking and ticking... Talking about regrets only is appropriate to those who get hit with this kind of reality. “What is life?” when you are compelled to the idea that the most precious gift given to humankind was taken away from you: your freedom. Jesus, does anyone ever know what it feels to be trapped until s/he are behind bars? In the absence of something so vital, cherishing it with every breath you take will forge the essence of your being. 

There are no misunderstandings. There are no excuses. Some people deserve what they are in for. (And of course, if that weren’t the case, then it’s not even bad luck. It is just very bad taste.) Meeting someone who is locked up will make you lose control over your emotions. Your heartbeat takes a slower pace, and bit by bit, it breaks down. Your heart is crushed into pieces. And they cut, they sting, they bleed. Immediately, an abundance of questions bring you to a dangerous yet somewhat pure, incorruptible place. Inquisition of fundamental matters, one would say. Does repentance equal to the absence of freedom? When does time stop and simultaneously matter so, so, so much to someone? What is innocence if you cannot ever come out clean? Where is your family when even just looking at their photograph breaks your heart? “What is life” when the light of hope does not even come close to the light of day?

Answers are not impossible, they aren't unsolvable mysteries. It is simply extremely hard to find them. Yet for the first time, questions seem not to require a direct explanation. Truth is: the answers are but overwhelming feelings, naming them near-perfection realities. Weren't they inside all along? 

Someone once said that the people you should love the most are the ones who are less fortunate. You underline that statement when you can seriously consider: Who could ever love a murderer? Who will grant forgiveness to a rapist? Who should even his/her precious time to talk to a smuggler? Who would feel sorry for an innocent man wasting his time imprisoned? Do you believe it is no one else but those who are close to them? It is definitely not the case. I am but a stranger who will look into your eyes, shake your hand, give you a tap on the shoulder. There is a reason why I saw you. But then again, I cannot help but wonder, against all the odds, could it have been that you saw me first? 

I will love you. Forever, until the end.

The expiration date

Everyone has come across this one particular situation. However, you would then agree that no one really gives it much thought until you eventually are bound to let it happen. Curious, aren’t you? Just imagine the following: you open the refrigerator and today, it flashes your mind to check if everything is still in order. So of course it would not be, since you quickly remember that it is about time that you bought a new stash of milk again. “How long has it been since I last drank some?” And there it is, lying there, sobbing in silence: the hopefully-not-yet-rotten carton of milk. Your biggest challenge of the day: it could have been consumed with no rush, slowly, delicately … But how you got it off your mind, for so many different reasons apparently. You search for the expiration date and doubt on whether you should feel lucky or rather displeased by what you see, because you just have enough time to drink it in one go, right before it turns unpleasant. An instant of hesitation as you ask yourself: “Do I chug it?" Yes, undoubtedly, for you do not seek to waste any… And you’ll regret it if you don’t.

“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips”

Curious, aren’t you? Why this sudden change of subject and more importantly, what in the world does this quote have anything to do with bad milk? Absolutely everything, actually.

Time had passed since these two souls last locked lips and shared a passionate kiss. Life got in the way, commitments and responsibilities were on the agenda. It was never the right opportunity to dwell on the not-so far away past. Yet as soon as they rekindled, there was no need for big words or long stares to create this fabulous, sincere and powerful, clearly still irrefutable connection between them. This kiss was not sweet; it was the sweetest taste of mango. It was not romantic; it was the romance that could set the world on fire. It was not music; it was the music where one grasps right there and then, what “all that jazz” truly stands for. Simply thinking about this special kiss gives them the shivers. 

When a moment becomes yours. When the outside world stops for you. When you can hold a feeling so tightly in your hands, almost believing that an emotion could suddenly be materialized. It is at times like these when it’s undeniable why desires and passion are worth… everything.

Then again, there’s a little lie in this extremely sensual, last encounter. Curious, aren’t you? The reason why it was never the right hour to dwell on the not-so far away past is because it had come the time to deal with the very-present present. That mind-blowing kiss might not have been their first, but it was certainly approaching their very last. Indeed, it wasn’t that long of a period since these two souls last locked lips and shared a passionate kiss. Only but a few if you measure it in days, but it sure felt like a lifetime seeing what this meeting would mean to them. Everything from the first second they gazed into each other’s eyes until the last instant they exchanged words was enclosed in that kiss. 

“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips”

You open the refrigerator and you could have a nasty surprise since there is a possibility that you might have exceeded an expiration date. You did not wish for that to happen, but things are the way they are. Only a short span left, you kindly accept the situation and ask yourself: “Do I chug it?” Yes, of course you will, undoubtedly.

And that is exactly how you approach moments such as these, when you have no choice but to bid farewell to someone you truly care about. Curious, aren’t you? You do hesitate. You want out. You only get distant. For the obvious reason that getting to the good-bye scene in such a full blow could actually kill you inside. You try to get it off your mind as hard as you can, but it’s inevitable. The thing is, will there ever be a good timing to say good-bye to someone you love? No one is given a guideline to exactly when and how this is supposed to happen… even when the date is long written on the calendar. So what do you do when the infamous day is near and you just have enough time to make it still pleasant? You chug it, undoubtedly: the heartfelt tears, the hurt, the sadness, the memories, the love… And before you can understand it, amazingly, there can be sweet good-byes, even if there aren’t any smooth tomorrows... You take it all in, you will regret it if you don’t.

”Why have an expiration date when everything seems so right?” Curious, aren’t you? Perhaps it is because this beautiful story was actually never meant to be, for so many various reasons apparently. You do not ever hope for milk to go bad, like you do not choose when and whom you fall in love with. You did not wish for that to happen, but things are the way they are. Milk turns unpleasant, and you grow in love – even how wrong or crazy it is, and even if it narrows down to eventually saying your adieu! Life sometimes leads you to very unpredictable, uncontrollable situations, and you will always end up wondering why there is something called choice and another named destiny. Truth is, both meet halfway when good-byes knock at your door. And you do the best within what’s in your power. Maybe you’ll look back and your adventure will seem surreal. Maybe you’ll want to reconcile with why-oh-why you invested in something… someone, when you knew since second one that it could not lead you anywhere but here?

But then, you’ll come to realize that the very unforgettable kiss, the memorable rainbow, the way the clouds moved – so gracefully felt, shared, absorbed, was yours until the end of time. And doesn’t that, in all fairness, somehow make it the very first kiss? Untouchable.

Singer Raul Midon trusts that “expressions of love, [we] can’t deny [them], even when we say good-bye.” Not so curious anymore, are you? It is at times like these when it’s undeniable why more than desires and passion, falling in love was worth… everything.