Christmas Lights

The Christmas lights are up

I am in the mood,

Alright.

Have they always

Twinkled like that

Or do they 

Because it parallels

My own delight.

They are the same

While my eagerness

To stop,

Observe and smile

Has me burning 

On the inside.

Under pressure I am

A snowball 

Of anger

Outbursts
Often

Out of control

I am the same

But the difference

This year

I forgive myself

Like others

In the long stretch

In my lasting search

Of what matters

And I have you

As seed 

To my everyday glee.

It is Christmas time

The lights are up

This time, I am looking up.