Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A/nother/ new era

A few weeks ago, my brother and I decided to move to another apartment. Although this decision did not come out of the blue, since we knew that our current house was only temporary (we moved to Zürich about a year ago -- for my studies and he did for work -- and at that time needed a place to stay immediately); yes, even though it wasn't a surprise we were eventually going to leave this flat behind, I still feel a sense of loss, excitement, fear, thrill down my spine all rolled into one. Undoubtedly, I'll miss my current home immensely: this year has been enriching in so many ways. I started my studies in mass communication and English literature, and I enjoy every bit of it. It is extremely challenging and interesting; and I am already fired up for the next couple of years! Secondly, I fell in love with the beautiful city of Zürich -- which at this point of my life -- fits like a glove: Zürich is lively, colorful, crazy, has a beautiful scenery as well. In addition, this city offers an ace electronic music scene which I gradually discovered, and I am enjoying it a great deal ever since. I also met incredible people and made new friends. In the last couple of months, my then-new home -- which will soon become my old flat -- manage to enclose quite a number of wonderful experiences. I am assured that I will leave my imprint in those four walls, and I will miss it badly. But I look at the bright side: I'm still in Zürich for a while and the new house will be my new home. Another set of memories to cherish are yet to come. A new adventure. A new era. Another...What is it called again? Change.

Change is something I'm quite familiar with. I not only switched apartments a few times until now; but I have lived in different countries around the globe and had the privilege to travel quite a lot (and I am not done!) Ever since I can remember, change, in every term it is and can be used, has been my oldest companion! It not only contributed to the person I am today but it has definitely grown into an addiction (speaking on a small and a much, much larger scale.) Not changing is the diet I strictly cannot hold on to: I cannot stay put in one place. Questions about the difficulties to "integrate" often come up, or it would actually be more accurate to ask about the fear (I might have) of settling down.

I am aware of the fact that it is hard to firstly leave things behind (a city, a house, furniture, family and friends, people, etc...) and then find yourself in the tough "fitting in"-process. You lived in your cocoon and now you are creating a new one: it is not a piece of cake and you might feel lonely most of the time. Additionally, it is true that you only miss stuff and people when you don't have them around you anymore (not as often, anyway). It can take a while -- months, maybe even longer -- to get used to your new surroundings. Yet I am also sure that any kind of change should be seen as an amazing opportunity: every time, a challenge I adore to embrace! Changes - and all their consequences -, being friendly or not-so-friendly, which you seek for, those you work for and of course, a bunch of them which just fall on your head unexpectedly, are all about being able to find your way through this path we call life. What is the remedy against the fear of change? As simple as it sounds, you just need to live them to the fullest!

I sometimes assume that maybe it isn't my life that is full of changes, but that change is my life. Will this continuous hopping around ever get tiring? Will this way of living stop being part of my routine? Maybe, probably? I'm clueless: no answers to even when I will finally "straighten out" and where I want do stay put! I have dreams and plans for the future, but my philosophy is that my future starts today, every single day. I guess one day, I'll need to slow down, settle down; and I will be ready for that very special change . And evidently, I do want to stand still... if still ever accepts me.